Work is horrible. I hate it. The people are false. Their smiles drip with venom. My role has been reduced to paper handler, second-hand reporter, and an “English” guy. Needless to say, I am ANGRY. I feel misused and unable to move. The walls, built by management, box me into a corner and keep me from using my project management skills or knowledge. The new management team jokes loudly, behind me by quoting Office Space, the movie, regarding the completion of TPS reports. They appear to not have any respect for my well-being or my talent.

The list marches onward, but their actions all lead to varying levels of my anger. I have had headaches; I have felt my stomach ache and turn several times in my throat; and, just yesterday, had tears welling under the surface. I was ready to cry fully at my desk and, when that was done, blow my top at the person responsible for the “nit picking.” The steam this manager had created . . .

But, wait . . . this is when I realize I am in control of my emotions. I realize I am creating this anger. Don’t get me wrong . . . I know my anger is valid. I know emotions are powerful tools in today’s leadership. I realized that I am angry because of the way management ostracizes me and other valuable team members. I am angry because of the words this team uses to describe my condition as well as the slaps provided by their actions against this team. I know the source of my anger.

With this found source, I create a sigh of relief . . . “ahhh” . . . this information is helpful and, with a deep breath taken, relaxing. I get to do something about it. I get use this PASSION to catapult me forward. Even with this pain, I ask myself, “WHAT DO I WANT? WHAT DO I WANT? WHAT DO I WANT?”

When the answers do not come quickly, I resort back to being simply mad in a quiet, withdrawn manner while I am my desk. I must maintain professionalism. I still laugh with other team members around me, but I find that I combat the anger with an intense focus on what I am doing at the moment. Fortunately, my work allows my passion for writing to be the primary skill used. I get to create. In this creation, I FOCUS on presenting the Infrastructure (Information Technology) team’s efforts for non-technical communication with the executive team. In other words, I GET TO take all the tech-talk and turn the geek-jargon into meaning for the business.

In writing about my anger for the newsletter, I started to withdraw again and found writing difficult. I began to pull up Internet pages about soccer to focus on a sport that makes me happy. In other words, the distractions, as some might call them, become a stronger FOCUS for me. I use the focus to change my attitude, temporarily, until I find a safe harbor to fully express my frustration with a powerfully PROJECTED voice. I do this because it is aligned with my MISSION statement about providing an environment for my family that centers on our happiness. Expressing the anger at work would leave me without a job. The lack of money from this job would place strain, temporarily, against this objective. Expressing the anger at home goes in direct conflict with a “happy” house and would only be that much more explosive due to the bottling of this anger.

Thus, I choose to express my displeasure on the ride to work or on the ride home from work. I sing loudly with the music . . . I bang my head. I project fully “America, the Beautiful.” Also, I call someone I trust . . . a person who also is AWAKE and understands the voices that creep into the mind long after the 3 days of wall breaking with EMPOWERU. I want this coaching, because it helps me fine-tune this passion.

At work, I focus on RAISING the BAR for my writing by providing the best communication to the executives. I know “I WILL” create it. I focus on helping the management team be successful, which is the hardest for me to do, but here I FOCUS. I give them 100% of effort because I know that giving any less is lowering the bar. YES, I am still angry with them, for their decisions and their behavior, but I get to do this job and, in the meantime, I get to change it. I am AWAKE and, as long as I have a breath, I choose to GIVE. Giving is a 100% sure-fire way to change the people around me, which will change how I feel about this environment.

I choose to be happy and healthy in this life, which, at times, means employing Emotional Intelligence, EQ. I have seen those who have been offered a more difficult time at meeting their objectives at work, which leads to their frustration, which leads to their anger, which leads to their non-EQ expression, which leads to a MORE DIFFICULT TIME AT MEETING THEIR OBJECTIVES. Their expression of anger is overlaid with selfishness, regardless of the intent. The language, body and voice, brings focus for others to this greed, which perpetuates the cycle – perpetuates the INSANITY, expecting different results with the same actions.

The crabs will win if I let them by choosing the cycle I just described; however, I choose to focus on the team’s success. I choose to hold management accountable to the company’s mission statement. I choose to lead management towards a fully empowered team to meet the objectives of management, who can then say, “we did it with these COMMITTED employees.”

Anger is power for me when the orange energy is released with commitment, with focus, and in alignment with my MISSION. The crabs scurry in front of the towering embodiment of PASSION. Funny, in this directed action, I see that the scurry of the crabs is based on my LEADERSHIP. When my laser focuses, my candle burns brightly and the intensity of my will leads the crabs to exactly where I want them. In my case, I am still acting on my VISION steps, but I choose NOW to influence this management team with my actions that are directed with PURPOSE. I choose to show them I will give them my hand in successful endeavors. I choose to voice that all of the team’s actions worthy of our success.

In the end, I still ask, “Why I am doing all of this even though management behavior becomes a source for my anger?” The answer is simple . . . my INTEGRITY. I am holding myself true to leading with emotion . . . to being a LEADER.