Adventure Journal Entry #5
Good Morning Team 297- LIVE IT!
Continuing with my Adventure experience... I had the opportunity to look my "fear of failure" right in the eyes and battle it once more. You see, just because I knock the wall down does not mean that the issue is gone. How does that wall stand if not buried deep in the ground for support? This is the great pearl of wisdom of Adventure, Once you knock down that wall and smash through those barriers- then dig down and clear out the foundation for that wall. Then the wall will really be gone.
I had the opportunity to look my "fear of failure" right in the eyes and battle it once more. You see, just because I knock the wall down does not mean that the issue is gone. How does that wall stand if not buried deep in the ground for support?
So once again my TEAM faced a process which FOCUSED on COMMUNICATION, CLEAR VISION, COMMITMENT, and CONSENSUS. Which role would I play this time, Leader or Active Follower? I chose Active Follower for this process. After numerous failures in the process, we started to really click. Things were really looking up and the end was in sight. You know what is coming don't you?
Yep, one brief lack of FOCUS. One careless action. One momentary drop in COMMITMENT and BAM! FAILURE!
As if that weren't bad enough, those damn roaches were all over the place! I suggest anyone that goes to Texas for Adventure make sure they bring bug spray! Needless to say, I took this hard. I was 2 for 2 in process failures. What was I thinking? I am in a profession where this kind of lack of FOCUS gets people killed! I was a member of the department's SWAT Team as the lead sniper. On three occasions I had the head of a suspect zeroed in through my scope. These men were 2.5 pounds from leaving this world. 2.5 pounds of pressure on the trigger and their world was over. Can you imagine the amount of FOCUS and CONCENTRATION involved in that?
So why did I lose my FOCUS in a process that did not involve the life of death of my TEAM? Where else in my life am I losing my FOCUS on the things that are important to others? The demon of "fear of failure" joined now by the demon of "fear of rejection" did a number on me now.
Next time I will speak of our trek back to camp which gave me time to internally deal with both of these, now gone from my life forever, demons!
With PASSION - HBS!
Michael
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