Attitudes of Gratitude
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More than just accepting their past so they can exercise more control of their future, those who lead truly powerful lives have come to terms with the events and results of their past.
They have learned to see value even in the personal failures that have shaped their lives. Your own attitude—about your past and your future—controls so much of your present life. You have a captive audience, someone who is always listening to you. That captive audience is yourself!
True success occurs when you choose to resourcefully live your life, rather than just respond to it as things happen to you. Abraham Lincoln once said, "I am not concerned that you have fallen down or get knocked down; I am concerned that you arise."
In the lyrics to one of Empower-U’s theme songs are the words, "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and hit it again, and again, and again…"
Let me give you a real-life example to illustrate how this approach looks—one of a million possible examples. One man’s past failures and how they became fuel for his future.
If you’ve heard it before, listen with new ears and read it with new eyes for the very first time:
- He failed in business in ’31.
- He was defeated in the Legislature in ’32.
- He failed again in business in ’33.
- He was elected to the Legislature in ’34.
- The woman he loved died the next year, in ’35.
- He suffered a nervous breakdown in ’36.
- He was defeated for Speaker of the Legislature in ’38.
- He was defeated for Presidential elector in ’40.
- He lost a Congressional nomination in ’43.
- He won a Congressional election in ’46.
- But he was defeated for Congress in ’48.
- He was defeated for the U.S. Senate in ’55.
- He was defeated for Vice President in ’56.
- He was defeated for U.S. Senate again in ’59.
Most people would have become bitter and angry at the unfairness of life. Within a few short years, he would also lose a son, and his wife would go mad. Yet, never did anyone hear him ask, "What's the use? Why keep trying over and over again?"
Elected President in 1860, he freed the slaves and preserved the Union through the bloody conflict of the War Between the States. Nearly 150 years later, he is still viewed as one of the greatest leaders ever to occupy the White House.
I believe it was because he understood something about destiny. He chose a different attitude, and it empowered a different response, creating a different result. The man, of course, was Abraham Lincoln. Elected President in 1860, he freed the slaves and preserved the Union through the bloody conflict of the War Between the States. Nearly 150 years later, he is still viewed as one of the greatest leaders ever to occupy the White House.
What, up until now, has convinced you that it’s a waste of your time to want it and create it? Dr. Victor Frankl experienced the loss of everything you and I would think of as "necessary" to our lives in World War 2’s Auschwitz death camp. In writing about his life, Frankl credited his survival to one thing: "Everything can be taken from man except the last of the human freedoms, his ability to choose his own attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose his own way."
Again, what are you doing under your circumstances? As a speaker and consultant, I have had opportunities to meet many now successful people who publicly share their stories of intense suffering and inhumanity. They—and perhaps you—have been abused, neglected and subjected to atrocities I don't even want to consider in this book.
What happened to them—and perhaps you—was wrong, unfair and disgusting. It isn’t "wrong" for them—and perhaps you—to focus on all the unfairness, pain and misery in life.
But I have a question for them—and perhaps you... What do you want?
- You have been abused—what do you want?
- Your ex-spouse did awful things to you—what do you want?
- I believe you when you say you weren't given opportunities that others were—what do you want?
You could be factually correct, but what has that gotten you… up until now? People live in cesspools of bitterness, whether they are right or not. My question is, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy. Do you want to live a life that honors your children, your family, your God, yourself?
What do you want?
Chris likes to quote Buddy Hackett, who said, "Never carry a grudge—while you are, the other guy’s out dancin’." In other words, as horrible as they are—because of how horrible they are—get out from under your circumstances!
When you live your life out of memory, you live out your history—what once was. When you live your life out of your imagination, you live out of all the potential you have—what can be.
To have a new future, create it!
November 2002
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