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Be in the game… Know the Rules

We have all heard the saying that life is a game.

For some it might be a strategic game like ‘Risk’ or ‘Chess’. For others it might be ‘Old Maid’ or ‘Go Fish’. Some might play it sooooo seriously, while others are just looking to have fun. Whatever the situation, we can look at life as a game. The wild cards in this game are the Beings we call Human.

We human beings are a strange breed and quite often we let our egos get in the way. Of course, not you and I, it is all those other people…our wives, our bosses, our competition…, right? You know what I mean, sometimes we don’t like to admit that maybe we don’t know it all, maybe there is more to learn, maybe, just maybe, there might be some rough edges in our lives. If we keep an open mind to continual growth and put the polish on those rough edges we can improve our personal and business lives. And when we look at our lives like the journey that it is, and we work to enjoy ourselves, we can perceive it as a game…of sorts.

In our powerful training courses, we too look at these as games. There is a beginning and an end. We have an objective - To provide the most powerful opportunity for people to take their professional and personal lives to a whole new level. We are committed to playing the game with Passion - Heart, Body & Soul. There are only winners, except for the occasional person that Footballquits; that person who lets fear and doubt keep them from getting in the arena and playing. Unfortunately, not only do they lose but so does their family, company, community and Boxingour country. It takes courage to play some games. Life is a full contact game; we have to be a full participant and have contact with other human beings. There should be no bleachers in our game of life.

Football is a game, the most popular game in America. Playing football takes courage because you could get knocked down and get hurt. It takes courage to play Polo; you could fall off the horse and get hurt. Boxing, too, is a sport that would have to be classified, in a strange way, as a game. In order to win at any of these games you have to be in the arena, on the field. You have to have the courage to get knocked down and get up and possibly get knocked down and get up again, and again, and again…. In the immortal words of Teddy Roosevelt:

It’s not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievements; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither defeat nor victory.

Some people unfortunately never get in the game of life. They sit on the sidelines and never fullyChicken participate, never fully commit. I trust that if you are reading this article this doesn’t apply to you. You are either one of our graduates or you are a potential client, in which case you are in the game. But let me ask you a question…how are you playing the game? Are you just participating or are you committing Heart, Body and Soul? A lot of people confuse participation and commitment. The difference between the two is easily explainable when you consider the chicken and the pig and their roles in a bacon and eggs breakfast. The chicken participated, but the pig was committed!

Our training is based on commitment and living life with Passion - Heart, Body & Soul. People ask us all the time to explain our training. For those of you that have been through it, you know it is the most powerful training in the world; but you, too, have a hard time explaining it. The best way I have found to explain it is in a story I heard about George Bernard Shaw. George Bernard Shaw was once asked by a reporter if he could go back in time and do it all over again, who would he want to be. He thought about it for a while and he responded, "I would be the George Bernard Shaw that I could have been". In order to be the "George Bernard Shaw that could have been", we need to commit to play this game with everything we have, with Passion, like it matters.

In order to play this game full out, with 100% commitment - Heart, Body and Soul, we need to know the rules of the game. Since the greatest asset we have is who we are, we need to know the rules to this Being, we call Human. Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., developed the following rules to being human. She just published a book called "If life is a game, know the rules". For years we have been giving these ‘Rules’ out under Anonymous, but she has come forward and taken credit for writing them. The book is on order; I’m sure it will be a good one.

Here are the 11 rules with my own commentary as we go:

1. You will receive a body.

You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period of this time around.

This is a tough one because a lot of people are unhappy with their bodies. We really have two choices; 1) either we accept what we have, or 2) do something about it. Focus on those things you can change and accept those you cannot. If you are not happy with your current weight do something to change it or accept it. If you are unhappy with how tall you are…get real!!! You can’t change that, so accept it and move on.

2. You will learn lessons.

You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them stupid.

This is the basis for what we at Empower U do. If we are not growing, we are dying. So many people get stuck in their comfort zones. We let our egos get in the way and start thinking we know it all, and we have done it all. We get to a certain level of success and we compare ourselves to others and say, "Compared to…I am doing pretty well." The only one we should compare ourselves to be is the "Person we could have been"! Successful people know that in order to be successful we have to continue to improve who we are and what we do.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.

Growth is a process of trial and error: Experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately works.

Would you consider Thomas Jefferson a failure? Of course not! He didn’t fail at making the light bulb 1000 times. He learned a thousand ways not to make a light bulb. Abraham Lincoln lost almost every race he ran in except for the one that mattered most. He learned from each defeat and ultimately became one of the greatest presidents ever. Do you treat your experimentation as mistakes, or as lessons?

4. A lesson will be repeated until learned.

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

Our graduates know this one…Again and again and again! Until the lesson is learned we will continue to get the opportunity to do it again. This is important because many people experience the learning. But very few learn from the experience; at least to the point of application. Take the information and put it into motion…Until it is properly learned this is not an option.

5. Learning lessons does not end.

There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

Once we have it all figured out and there is nothing else to learn, go ahead and close the coffin door. Everyday life has it’s own lessons, thankfully, so it’s OK to realize there is always more to learn. Everyday when we get up we should project, "It’s a great day to be alive, what will I learn today?!" The next time someone asks you your sign you should tell them, ‘Under Construction’. We should constantly be under construction, learning and growing.

6. "There" is no better than "Here".

When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here".

We convince ourselves that life will be better when we get married…when we get divorced…when we lose some weight…when the kids grow up…when the kids leave the house…when we make so much money a year…when we get a bigger house…a nicer car…. The truth is, the time is NOW! So stop waiting till you go back to school…lose 10 pounds…have children…get married…fall…winter…the first or the fifteenth…Friday night…till Mr.\Ms. Right comes along. Success is a journey and not a destination….THE TIME IS NOW! Time waits for no one. We need to treasure every moment we have and be happy. This is a choice. What will you choose? Each day you get to choose again, and again….

7. Others are merely mirrors of you.

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

OUCH!!! That hurts, doesn’t it? Sometimes less is more.

8. What you make of your life is up to you.

You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

There is that ‘Choice’ word again. It is hard to be accountable for our lives. It is much easier to blame people and circumstances and environments…. Life is hard; it can be down right tough at times. That is just the way it is. Bad things happen and people wrong other people. We can choose to dwell on that and feel sorry for ourselves or we can choose to make our lives all that we want them to be. It is not what happens to us that make us who we are -- it is how we respond to it. We need to be responsible for our lives, our actions and our inaction’s! It is your life… What are you going to do with it? We have everything we need to be the "Person that we could have been." Will you choose to use all your tools?

9. Your answers lie inside you.

The answers to Life’s questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

So many people spend years and tens of thousands of dollars going to see therapists and counselors to find answers. There are times when professional help is absolutely needed. I am not downplaying the important role of this profession; I just feel that many people become dependent on others when they only need to look inside. In our training we do not play junior psychologists, we feel that the answers to our questions lie inside. I have heard successful people, CEO’s of large corporations, executives…say they got more out of our training than 5 or 10 years of counseling. We provide an opportunity for people to be 100% honest with themselves and take a personal inventory of their strengths and weaknesses. We provide an opportunity for people to learn more about themselves in 2 days than most people can learn in years outside of our classroom. All they need to do is look, listen and trust!

10. You will forget all this.

We get busy; we get bogged down in the rat race of life sometimes. We have a lot going through our heads, and sometimes we forget important things. This is all common sense, unfortunately common sense isn’t so common anymore. We are creatures of habit and when things get a little hectic we have a tendency to revert back to instinct and survival mode. We tend to fall back into our comfort zones, our familiar zone.

11. You can remember it whenever you want.

Here is that choice thing again. We can choose to remember it whenever we want. We have to want it though. We have to want to be a better spouse, a better parent, a better boss, a better team player, a better employee…. It all starts with WANTING IT! It’s that creative discontent. There has to be a reason why we want to move from where we are to some place else; that continual improvement mentality. It is a desire to be more today than we were yesterday, and more tomorrow than today.

We talk a lot about choices. What we are really talking about is our attitude. Our attitude is our daily choice on how we will embrace that day. I am sure you have all heard or read the "Attitude" quote by Charles Swindoll. If you have…read it again for the first time.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our Attitudes.

We have all heard the saying ‘It is not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game that matters’. This has never been more true than it is when referring to the game of life and our commitment to how we ‘Play’.

So these are the ‘Rules to Being Human’. What are you going to do with them? It’s your choice! If there is anything that we can do here at EmpowerU to help you be a better YOU, let us know. Now that you know the rules, how can we help you implement them? There is a huge gap between knowing and doing. Our job here at EmpowerU is to help you narrow that gap.

I remain...

Enthusiastically yours,

Scott V. Black
The Empower U Leadership Team
March 1999

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