Just be yourself, is what has been said so often
“People Want you”, Don’t worry, no need to soften

It took me 20 years to start to believe
To open up, trust… and then receive

I am Under Construction, becoming better each day
Eventually people will like me…maybe, you think… someday?

Be on guard, how do you look…say the right thing
Not too pushy, too talky…hide the internal Viking.

I’ve been hurt, a time , maybe two
Been myself, opened up…not comfortable with what to do

I’m not the same man, been grown by the sword
Had to fend for myself, realized…don’t fit into this world.

It’s time to trust, the leader is my friend
I’ll participate fully, this is the message I’ll send

How complicated, this roll; the one that I chose
Participant, or observer…I’m not sure, nobody knows.

At first I was one of them, but then.. not.. quite.. sure
I want to grow, show my weaknesses…maybe, learn the cure.

That night I thought, the trainers don’t want me to…
Say the answers, participate and uncover the clues.

Next day I worked harder to be the observer
Struggling to be involved, and also be the server.

I make a few friends, feeling like I am liked…
See some of my ugliness…confusion is spiked.

Not sure if I am team member, trainer or both
Wanting to please all and yet- keep my oath.

The oath that I speak of, is to always give my all
To uncover the ugly, the hidden, and break down the wall.

I thought it was safe to be fully involved
To design the next level only after being fully enthralled.

I focused on not making it all about me-
Moving in and out of rolls, not sure who to be.

I had the opportunity to take another look in
A different perspective, be humble…not a sin.

I found my way by the final day…
It took me three, but I found my way

As we came to an end, I felt relieved
The training it was…I thought, well received.

I had opened up and even let others in
The confusion had waned and I had a comforting grin.

I had made a few friends and met many others
I humbled myself and in the end, felt no druthers.
I left the class, clear of at least one thing
I was chosen to LIVE …and man, I wanted to sing!

I felt real good about the process and the one to be done
Even though it’s been a struggle, I could see tomorrow’s sun.

The curriculum flowed freely, the commitment rewarded
I gave of myself and enjoyed the opportunity afforded.

I called to my friend and said mission accomplished
He wouldn’t return my call, I kept writing until job…completed.
I called and emailed and finally my friend he did called
Not the conversation I wanted…I could have just balled.

He said nobody liked me, Leadership said a big “NO”
“Don’t like who you are… and don’t like how you show”.

He said you had all the answers and that’s not what it was about
The way you showed up, made my trainers want to shout.

I saw my training…Said that he didn’t take anything from me
Put together his class, took from everyone, no credit to thee.

There is SALT in my wounds, seeing the similarities
The basis of my life’s work, not given respectability.

Others didn’t like that I spoke of what I have earned
Not really interested in me sharing what I have learned

Over a year of investment and thinking he’s a friend
Realizing what I know, different…in the very end.

People will justify, decieve and play their games
Fear, Envy and resentment—Christian or not—show up the same.

So what is this lesson God wants me to attain
Not sure right now, not sure if I can be trusting again.
To be hung out to dry by those who confess to save
To be dumped on and judged- unworthy to the grave.

I can choose to let the hypocrisy turn and sour me
Or choose to understand the bigger picture of thee.

For God is in control, even though we like to play the roll
We’re all accountable for all that we know.

I know that I was dealt a bad, unfair hand
To know not one of them could walk in my prints, in my sand.

For they got their vote, they chose me to die
Christ will resurrect me, I don’t know the reason why

I will never settle for the corporate lowered bar
We can still make money and not sell out who we are.

My friend was an acquaintance that took his shot
I wish him well-they won…they got what they got.

I opened up and was manipulated and gossiped about
I’m sure they feel better, I’ll work not to pout.

The learning I take from this lesson from SALT
Don’t be so trusting, and open up without halt.

For people are judging and looking for reasons
To make themselves feel better, no matter the seasons

For this is the world that we live in as brothers
Those that can’t do, teach…and control the lives of others.

If I am to be trusted and tell people to commit
Then their trust they give me …it must be legit.

To be used for a benefit, which is hidden from the start
Is disingenuous and damaging to mine and others heart.

I’m thankful for this lesson and the brutality that it came
It will keep me from dishonoring others in the same.