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Want it. Create it. Live it.

Three things we must do to be our dreams.

Due to popular demand this article is being reposted from February, 1998

Each year an untold amount of time, effort and money is spent on technical training; learning ways to better do our job, ways to enhance the bottom line. Each year an untold amount of time, effort and money is spent on self- improvement items such as books, tapes and training seminars. People are looking for ways to get an edge, ways to the ‘secret path’ to a happier more fulfilling life. I endorse and encourage the process of self-improvement, it is very important in the development of the individual and the corporation. If you look in any bookstore there are thousands of books on Leadership, Management, Reaching our potential…. With so much information it can get very confusing. One author tells you that there are 7 habits to be a highly effective person, another tells you there are 12 laws that govern success, another tells you to follow these 10 steps and you will have the abundance you desire.

As you continue to read you start to realize that about 70% of all the information is basically the same, it is just packaged in different ways, allowing for consumption from a variety of individuals who learn and process information differently. Most of the information that is pertinent and relevant in today’s world was pertinent and relevant a hundred years ago. With that said, there are some great new studies in Leadership and the workings of the human mind, studies in some of the following: NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), Emotional Intelligence, Synchronicity and Flow, NAC (Neuro Associative Conditioning)…. Withstanding the modern scientific study of personal improvement and self-mastery, most of the information is regurgitated and repackaged for consumption. The reason this information is still being discussed is because of it’s validity.

As trainers, coaches and consultants it is very important that our clients not only experience the learning from our seminars, books, tapes and speeches, but that they also learn from the experience. When I say learn from the experience, what I mean is to the point of application. There is such a huge gap between knowing and doing. One of our jobs is to help people narrow that gap.

In our research and training\consulting that we have been doing over the years we have come to the realization that there are three things we must do to be our dreams. We have realized that some of the best things in life can be best described in simple terms. These three steps, seemingly simple, are important breakthroughs in realizing our potential, not only as business people, but just as importantly, as individuals.

What happens is that these comfort zones can become boxes, for some they become a casket. We get stagnant, we start going through the motions and we no longer have the sense that we ‘Can do Better’, that there is more to learn.

The first thing we must do to be our dreams is Want it. What we mean by want it is the Desire stage. All goals and all journeys start with a desire. You must have a sense of discontent with where you are. A reason to move from where you are, to some other place. This discontent is a positive attribute, this is what starts the desire for change. This is called creative tension. Without this healthy discontent you will never take action to move away from your comfort zone. We all have a tendency to get ourselves into a comfort zone, where we become content with how things are going, with the status quo. What happens is that these comfort zones can become boxes, for some they become a casket. We get stagnant, we start going through the motions and we no longer have the sense that we ‘Can do Better’, that there is more to learn. Michael Jordan, arguably the best basketball player ever, knew this principal and used it to drive himself to be better and better- What I call the ‘Best of the Best’. When Mike was at North Carolina, Dean Smith never allowed freshman to start. Mike, being who he was used this to drive himself to be even better. He was already one of the best players in college basketball, his 60 0r 70% effort was better than most peoples 100%. Yet he was not willing to settle for ‘Good Nuff’. So he pushed himself harder and as a freshman he became a starter for Dean Smith and the University of North Carolina. Dean Smith is a coach who is also known for raising the bar, expecting more out of everybody. So when Mike became a starter, Dean again raised the bar to have Mike Want more. Sports Illustrated wanted to put the North Carolina team on the front cover of their magazine because they were picked to win the National title. When they approached Dean Smith, he said you can put the other 4 starters on the cover but not Michael. He had a private meeting with Mike and told him the reason for his decision was because Mike had not earned the right. This caused Mike to push himself harder and want to do better. This constant Desire, this constant wanting to be better, helped create the Michael Jordan we know today. Without this discontent there is an unconscious sense of being on autopilot or going through the motions. It can be easy to let the ‘flight’ of our lives slip into autopilot, slicing through the air, but not entirely under our guidance. The major problem with autopilot is that over time we might forget how to fly the plane. This is often accompanied by complacency or inattention and no lasting change can occur.

The second thing we must do is Create it. Stephen Covey talks about beginning with the end in Mind. All things are created twice: First mentally, through vision, and then physically, in reality. Let’s take a look at what happens when somebody wants to build a home-- notice how it all begins with a Want. A homebuilder begins with an idea, or a vision, of what their home is to look like. He\she goes to an architect to design the ideal home. The architect puts together the plans for the home before a single shovel of dirt is turned. The building is constructed in the client’s mind, and the plans are laid out so they can be communicated to all the people who will help create the house that matches the original vision. The blue prints allow the architect to transfer the vision and to show others how that vision will be realized. We must be the architects of our lives. We have to design our life the way we want it, so we must create it. When we create the future that honors who we are and what we do, then we are on purpose and become unstoppable. When we create this future- we not only create the vision, we also must create the steps to accomplish our mission. In planning our lives we are creating our dreams.

The definition of Power is Action. You can have all the dreams in the world but if you don’t take action they die. You have to live it, put it in motion.

The third thing we must do to be our dreams is Live it. Most people never get to this stage. This stage takes commitment and a belief in your mission. Commitment at the point of decision is how we achieve goals. Most people wallow in the Want it stage and some make it to the Create it stage, very few ever cross the threshold into this final stage. The definition of Power is Action. You can have all the dreams in the world but if you don’t take action they die. You have to live it, put it in motion. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. Without movement we get wishful thinking that usually ends up leading nowhere. The phrase that is most often used is ‘Walk your Talk", the world is full of hypocrites- don’t cheat yourself and dream with no action. Live it and Live it with PASSION-Heart, Body & Soul. We have to be the leader of our lives, the boss. Give it the extra effort, go the extra mile. It is your life! If you do not Live it, nobody else will. This is what we refer to as an ownership mentality, actually being the boss of our lives. In their book, "If you’re not outselling, you’re being outsold", Steve Johnson and Michael St. Lawrence put it this way: "The extra mile is a quiet place, and it’s the place where the boss spends a lot of time. Most people stop way before they get there. It’s that post-100% effort zone where we fly right by the competition. Learn to thrive on the feeling that comes from running the extra mile". This is the doing stage, the experiential part of the process. When we live it, we "walk our talk", we not only say it but we do it. When we do this on a regular basis we remember what it takes to get where we want to go.

Malcolm Knowles considered the father of Adult Learning, discovered interesting concepts about how and why adults learn and how they can learn more effectively. He realized that adults learn best in sections of 7 +\- 2. So adults learn best by the acronym of KISS, keep it simple Scott (the alternative is stupid). This simple three-step formula allows for more effective implementation. He also discovered that adults remember:

10% of what they Read.
20% of what they Hear.
30% of what they See.
50% of what they See & Hear.
70% of what they Say & Write.
90% of what they Say & Do.

So backed by this scientific data we can truly say: The three things we must do to be our dreams are Want it, Create it, Live it.

These three steps are best illustrated by the following quote by John Schaar:

The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created—created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths to it are not found but made, and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination.

Over the next few months we will be going into these three stages in further detail. We will dedicate an entire article to each specific guiding principle. Until then, remember … Lead with Passion-Heart, Body & Soul.

I remain...

Enthusiastically yours,

Scott V. Black
The Empower U Leadership Team
June 1999

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